also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
