I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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