He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
