his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
