yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
