Do vagina's smell?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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