Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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