smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
