the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
