i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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