trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize