Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
