He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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