I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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