I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
