I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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