When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Acid is not a monday night drug
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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