i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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