Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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