He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
