My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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