So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
