the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
