I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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