I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize