I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
