I wish I could teleport
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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