I'm going to jail i love you
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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