you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He uses pillows to masturbate.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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