eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
