my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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