The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
