Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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