She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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