If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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