I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Vodka?
Forever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
