you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
