i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize