i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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