Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
