Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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