I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
