i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
