I don't think brook has ever known best
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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