My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
