That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
