oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
