I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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