so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
