You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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