can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think my fart just growled at me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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