What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize