The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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