Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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