"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
