The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
