It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
