the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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