You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
