This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
