Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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